


Chasing Stars

by Mnemosyne_Elegy



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Gratuitous astronomy references, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of stars and stuff, Natsu being a bit of a stalker, also angst, star symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-26 03:36:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20383030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mnemosyne_Elegy/pseuds/Mnemosyne_Elegy
Summary: The first sign that something wasn't quite right was when Gray refused a fight. Before Natsu has the chance to figure out what's going on, Gray rushes out on a mysterious errand, leaving the dragon slayer to chase after him.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few months ago someone figured out that I sometimes unofficially take story requests. I had a billion other projects going on so this got shoved to the back burner, but ta-da, it's finally here. This takes place after Galuna but before Oración Seis.

* * *

The first sign that something wasn't quite right was when Gray refused a fight. Well, maybe there had been other signs before that, but Natsu wasn't super observant. If there had been any more, he had missed them. But turning down a fight… That was hard to overlook.

He had gone looking for a fight, but Gray had just said, "Not right now," and walked away. Normally Natsu might have laughed and punched him anyway, but at the time he had been too shocked to do anything but stare after his friend. Turning down a fight was unnatural behavior and he wanted to know why Gray had done it.

At first he'd wondered if maybe Gray was so angry about something that he wouldn't even fight anymore, except that he didn't really seem angry. Natsu wasn't ruling out the possibility that he'd done something to annoy his rival yet, but Gray seemed more distracted than anything else. He'd been walking around in something of a daze for the past few days, although it was subtle enough that Natsu had missed it right up until the aborted fight.

Natsu still had no idea what was wrong, but he was getting kind of annoyed. Like, if there was a problem then why wouldn't the stupid ice block just address it already? Honestly. It had been a few days since then and he had given Gray some space just in case, but enough was enough.

Today, there would be a fight.

Natsu woke up ready to go, and over breakfast he decided that he'd start a fight and Gray _would like it_. Or at least not brush it off. By the time he was ready to go to the guild, he was all fired up and bursting with impatience. A fight would solve everything and Gray would stop being weird and that was that.

Happy was not so optimistic.

"He almost never turns down fights," he pointed out as he flew down the street at the dragon slayer's side. "There must have been a reason for it."

"Yeah, well he can get over himself," Natsu replied dismissively. "I don't know why he's annoyed with me, but he should've just told me about it in the first place instead of being weird."

"I don't think he's annoyed with you. Did he seem annoyed? And anyway, he's been being a little distant with everyone, not just you."

Natsu shrugged, not bothered by minor details. "Well, we'll fight and everything will be fine again."

Happy groaned. "You suck at this. But then again, I can't really say whether or not anything is even wrong. He's been a little distracted, but it's not anything that's big enough to really be noticeable, except for when he didn't want to fight."

"And that was days ago," Natsu said cheerfully, "so surely he's over it by now."

Happy rolled his eyes and gave up. It was a lost cause.

Natsu had been in such a hurry to start a brawl that he suddenly worried that Gray might not even be at the guild yet. It was awfully early, and he got the feeling that most of the mages hadn't made it there quite yet. But when he burst into the guild hall a few moments later, he quickly spotted the ice princess talking to Mira, a harried look on his face.

"Yeah, thanks," he was saying. Turning away, he spotted Natsu and waved halfheartedly as he started towards the door. "Hey, flame brain. Happy."

"Oh good, let's fight!"

"Not now." Gray barely even spared him a glance as he brushed past, his strides quick and clipped. "I have to hurry if I want to catch my train."

"Huh?" Natsu blinked after him uncomprehendingly. "What train?"

Gray paused in the doorway and turned back for a moment, although he continued to shift about impatiently.

"I've got to go take care of something," he answered, his lips tightening slightly. "I know Erza and Lucy wanted to do that job, but you guys can do it without me, okay? I asked Mira to pass on the message, but since you're here, you can tell them. I'll be back in a couple days."

Then he turned and disappeared, the door slamming shut behind him. Natsu stared after him blankly.

"…What?"

"You seem to have the worst timing for picking fights," Happy observed dryly.

Natsu scowled. "He's avoiding us, isn't he? I bet he's doing that thing where he takes a job and runs off on his own so that he doesn't have to deal with us for a few days. He knew that we were supposed to be doing a job today."

If he hadn't been annoyed before, he certainly was now. Gray had a lot of nerve, skipping out on them without any warning. Hell, he hadn't even bothered telling them that he was leaving. If he'd had his way, the team would have found out from Mira after he was already long gone.

Growling to himself, Natsu stomped over to the bar. "Hey, Mira, what job did he take?"

He at least wanted some idea of how long his idiot friend had an excuse to be gone for. Gray might've said a couple days, but you could never tell with him. Hopefully it wouldn't be a very long job, because Natsu was prepared to whack him as soon as he came back.

"Job?" Mira paused, the dishrag in her hand stilling. "He didn't take a job."

"He didn't?"

"No, he just said that he was going on a trip and would be back in a couple days."

Natsu was at a loss. When Gray needed a break and wanted to be alone, he always made up a concrete excuse to deflect suspicion. Usually that was done by taking a job. A mysterious trip, on the other hand, wouldn't be his first choice because he'd know that it would automatically make everyone question what he was doing and why.

"He really didn't say anything else? He usually comes up with better excuses than that."

Mira shook her head, frowning faintly as she picked up on Natsu's mood. "No. He was very vague about…well, about everything. The only thing I know for sure is that he was in a rush to catch his train. And he seemed a little frazzled, but I assumed it was just because he was running late."

"I guess we'll just have to question him when he comes back," Happy said with a sigh, not sounding very optimistic. If Gray didn't feel like sharing information then he wouldn't share it.

Natsu glowered at the ground for a moment, considering his options. Gray was being weird and was running off on mysterious missions, and when he got back it was doubtful that he'd tell anyone what had happened. He'd probably be acting totally normal too, and it would be impossible to tell if anything odd was still going on.

The dragon slayer made a split-second decision.

"I'm going after him," he announced. Mind instantly made up, he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

"Natsu!" Happy yelped in surprise. "You can't just go running after him! He won't be happy to see you."

Natsu shrugged, not even pausing. "Don't worry, I'll be careful. He won't even know I'm there until it's too late."

"Somehow I don't see that going well either…" Mira mumbled.

"Just wait until he gets back," Happy added.

"Yeah right." Natsu snorted. "If I do that then we'll never find out what's going on and you know it."

Happy hesitated a moment longer and then sighed. He started winging his way over to Natsu, but the dragon slayer glanced back and waved him off.

"Why don't you stay here so you can tell Erza and Lucy what happened?"

"Mira can–"

"No point in him being upset with both of us," Natsu interrupted, arching an eyebrow.

Happy wavered for a few more seconds before sighing. "Good luck."

"You'd better hurry," Mira advised, apparently on board with the plan now. "You wouldn't want to miss the train."

Natsu winced at the mention of the train, but nodded and hurried out of the guild. Bounding through the streets and ignoring the irritated cries of pedestrians, he rushed to the train station and looked around frantically, searching for any sign of his errant friend while simultaneously trying to avoid detection. Crap, he didn't even know what train Gray was taking.

There was a train already pulled in and passengers were boarding, and Natsu had to assume that this was the right one. He started towards the ticket seller to buy a ticket and find out where he was going, but then the train blew its whistle and he freaked out. Forget the ticket. He was going to be a stowaway.

Natsu had never actually stowed away on a train before, but it couldn't be that hard. His first thought was that he could totally climb up on top of the train and ride on the roof. People did that in books and movies all the time, didn't they? That was kind of cool.

Satisfied with his plan, he headed for the train and scuttled around the outside, trying not to look suspicious as he searched for a place to climb up the side without being spotted. Thankfully, he eventually found a rickety-looking ladder bolted to the side and hurriedly shimmied up it. Finding a semi-comfortable place to settle on top of the car, he glanced around and admired the view until it occurred to him that if he had a great view of the station then the station probably had a great view of him too. He flattened himself out and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, praying that his bright pink hair against the dark gray of the train wouldn't give him away.

When the train started moving, he realized that he might have made a severe miscalculation. Maybe some people could ride around on the tops of trains without a problem, but some people didn't get severely motion sick. Natsu groaned and clutched onto the nearest handholds, wondering why he had thought this was such a great idea. He could have been sitting in the nice, still, unmoving guild hall right now, but _nooo_…

Gray had better be on this train. Damn, that would really suck if this was the wrong train and Natsu was doing all this for nothing.

He kept up his mental rambling for a few minutes in an attempt to stay focused so that he didn't slip into a motion sickness-induced coma and fall off, and was distracted enough by his silent monologue that he almost didn't notice the tunnel coming up until it was too late. Cursing, he frantically scrambled backwards, trying to simultaneously find a way off the roof and not throw up. The arched entrance of the tunnel cut way too close to the train, and anyone hanging off the side or perching on the top of the vehicle would get scraped off for sure.

Natsu lost his balance and yelped as he reached the end of the car and fell off, smashing into the narrow ledge connecting the car to the one behind it. Darkness descended suddenly as the train entered the tunnel, and he decided that a few bruises were better than being smeared across the top of the passage. Noticing doors on either side leading into each car, he tried tugging at one of the handles. It was stiff and resisted for a few seconds, but then the door swung open with a groan and he stumbled inside, immediately collapsing onto the floor in a nauseous heap.

The conductor or whoever could find him without a ticket for all he cared. He had no idea what train people did when they found ticketless stowaways, but he was sick, had almost been squashed like a bug, and was not-exactly-but-almost worried about a friend who was acting weird. At this point, he'd just barbecue anyone who tried to kick him off the damn train.

But thankfully he seemed to have stumbled upon some kind of luggage compartment filled with suitcases and boxes instead of people. Still, it would probably be prudent to try staying conscious so that he'd know if anyone was coming or, at the very least, so that he knew when the train stopped. But Natsu had never been a very prudent person, so he happily passed out.

When the nausea finally started receding some indeterminate length of time later, the first thing Natsu realized was that the train wasn't moving anymore. Jumping to his feet, he hurriedly shoved the door open and looked around to see that they'd pulled into a station. It looked like there was only a small trickle of passengers still disembarking, so they had probably been stopped for several minutes already.

"Crap," he mumbled, hopping to the ground as he desperately searched the crowd for any sign of Gray. He sure hoped that his friend wasn't already long gone.

It was surprisingly easy to slip away from the train undetected, and he spent the next several minutes fruitlessly searching the station. He was close to admitting defeat when he finally glimpsed Gray through the crowd. But just what was he doing…?

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me!" Natsu moaned.

Gray was buying another train ticket. This was terrible. It hadn't even occurred to Natsu that maybe they'd need to take more than one train. Just how far were they going, anyway?

When Gray had finished his transaction and sat down on a bench to stare off into space moodily, Natsu sighed and headed for the ticket vendor.

"I need whatever ticket he got," he told the ticket seller when he finally reached the front of the line several minutes later.

The other man followed Natsu's finger with his eyes and then turned back to the dragon slayer with a suspicious frown. "You really think I remember what ticket one person bought? I sell hundreds of tickets."

Natsu resisted the urge to sigh again. He almost asked why the vendor was looking at him like he was a total creep or something, but brushed it off. He didn't really care.

"Well, what train is coming through soon?" he asked, assuming that Gray had arranged things so that he had as short a layover as possible.

"One will be stopping in just over half an hour from now," the vendor said, still eyeing Natsu warily. "And there's another in an hour."

"Seriously?" Natsu demanded of no one in particular.

"Seriously."

Well, that could be a problem. If Natsu just knew where Gray was heading then it would be easy enough to figure out which train was the right one, but as it was, he had no idea. He glowered at the vendor for a moment before a sly smirk spread across his face. Train hopping it was.

"Never mind, I don't need a ticket after all," he said cheerfully.

The vendor leaned backwards a little, looking as apprehensive as if he expected the dragon slayer to attack him at any moment. "Uh, okay. Whatever."

Natsu didn't know what that guy's problem was. But hey, maybe he'd go crazy after a while too if he had to spend his life doing something as boring as selling train tickets.

Leaving the disconcerted vendor behind, he headed back towards Gray, making sure to stay invisible in the crowd of pedestrians but wanting to get close enough to keep an eye on his friend. He briefly debated just revealing himself, but discarded the idea almost instantly. Gray wouldn't be happy and might abandon his scheme altogether if he knew that he was being followed. For now, Natsu would stay incognito.

He was careful not to be accidentally spotted, but he needn't have bothered. It wasn't like Gray was paying much attention to his surroundings anyway. The ice mage was holding his train ticket and turning it over and over in his hands, staring at it sightlessly the whole time. Occasionally he would glance around almost nervously and start fidgeting, but he always returned to his senseless scrutiny of the ticket. It was an odd mixture of melancholy and anxiety, and Natsu didn't know what to make of it.

Gray stayed lost in thought the entire time until the train arrived. If anything, his moodiness and apprehension only seemed to increase. Natsu was starting to suspect that maybe this mysterious trip was not something he had particularly wanted to do.

Luckily Natsu had a much easier time sneaking onto the train this time around, and at least he knew that he was on the right train this time. He managed to find another unoccupied compartment to hide in and stayed just as nauseous throughout the whole trip, although he was more careful not to go completely catatonic this time. Staying mostly conscious through hours of hell was an exquisite kind of torture.

When the train finally stopped, Natsu was up and staggering off almost before the wheels stopped turning. He didn't want to stay on that torture device any longer than he had to, and anyway, he wanted to be able to spot Gray coming off the train so that he didn't lose him again. He found a semi-concealed spot with a good view and settled back to wait, willing his stomach to unknot as he watched the passengers file off the train. People kept pouring into the station, but Gray was nowhere in sight. When the steady outpouring slowed to a trickle, Natsu started getting worried that maybe he'd overlooked something.

But then Gray finally appeared and exited the train slowly. He paused as soon as his feet hit the ground and looked around, an odd expression on his face as he studied the area. The man stuck behind him quickly got tired of waiting and shoved past him, sending him stumbling to the side. Natsu scowled, but Gray just threw the irritated man an apologetic glance, sighed, and started maneuvering through the crowd.

Natsu followed silently, unwilling to give himself away until he knew where Gray was going and what he was doing. As stalker and stalkee traversed the streets and reached the city limits, Natsu became aware of yet another problem. There was lots of cover inside the city and he could blend into the crowds of people, but outside they were practically in wilderness. Even worse, it was all snowy and it wasn't easy to hide when everything was white.

Plus it was _cold_. Natsu hated the cold. If he had known that he'd be stuck traipsing through the damn arctic then he would have at least brought a jacket. He was tempted to use his magic to warm himself up, but he was worried about catching Gray's attention. Right now his friend seemed lost in his own thoughts, but Natsu wasn't taking any chances. He'd just shiver and take it for now.

And if he had thought it couldn't get any worse, he was wrong. Yes, he had been vaguely aware that they were walking in the general direction of a line of mountains. No, he had not been expecting that he'd have to climb the damn things.

But that's what it looked like was going to happen. Gray had stopped right at the base of one of the mountains and pulled himself out of his musings to look up at it silently. Natsu found a rock to hide behind and silently cursed his luck. Gray stayed motionless for several long seconds and Natsu fought the urge to shift impatiently. Did they have to climb it or not?

"You don't have to do this," Gray mumbled.

Natsu almost jumped out of his skin, before realizing that Gray was just talking to himself. The ice mage half turned and looked back towards the city in the distance, an indecisive look plastered on his face. Then he sighed heavily and looked back at the mountain again, his posture screaming weary resignation.

"I owe it to him," he muttered, as if he was trying to convince himself.

Natsu watched him curiously, wondering what it was that he was so reluctant to do. But Gray just wavered for a moment longer and then started hiking up the side of the mountain, Natsu following at a distance.

Staying hidden was annoying enough, but staying quiet was even worse. Even when not blabbering away, Natsu wasn't a terribly quiet person, and the mountainside was eerily silent. The only good thing was that the thick layer of snow coating everything helped muffle sound a little, although it was really cold and Natsu wasn't sure he could feel his feet anymore. He risked using a tiny bit of magic to warm himself up, but then resigned himself to more frozen suffering.

Gray wasn't bothered by the cold, but he seemed to slow down more and more as they walked, until he stopped altogether. Natsu paused and rolled his eyes as his friend once again started dithering and trying to convince himself to keep going.

"Suck it up and stop being so pathetic."

Natsu watched Gray with narrowed eyes as he let out a breath and started forward again. He slipped around a rocky outcropping, and Natsu waited a minute to let him get a head start before following. When the dragon slayer cautiously poked his nose around the rock, he was surprised to see a little cabin sitting a short distance away.

Gray was already standing in front of the door, and after another moment of hesitation, he pushed his way inside and disappeared. Frowning in bewilderment, Natsu sat behind the rock and waited. But surveillance was boring and he was too fidgety and cold to stay still, so after a few minutes he crept over to the side of the cabin and peeked in the window.

His eyes widened in surprise as he saw Lyon inside with Gray. Both of the ice mages looked supremely uncomfortable, which perhaps wasn't surprising since the last time they had met was back on Galuna. Where Lyon had been a complete asshole.

Natsu's surprise melted into wary suspicion mixed with a fair helping of anger. What the hell was _he _doing here? No wonder Gray had been so reluctant to come. Natsu had half a mind to put an end to things right now. Gray obviously wasn't happy and Lyon was a jerk who could be planning all manner of things. Natsu was wary of his intentions.

The dragon slayer strained to hear what was being said inside, but not even his enhanced hearing could pick up the conversation. Good grief, what were these stupid windows made of? Huffing in frustration, he contented himself with watching the ice mages through the window in a totally un-creepy fashion, being careful to stay out of sight in case they happened to glance his way.

It was hard to know what exactly was going on when he couldn't hear anything, but he soon became aware that even more than being uncomfortable, the two ice mages seemed…sad. Eventually they drifted to the couch and perched there awkwardly, looking everywhere but at each other. Natsu wasn't sure how long they'd been talking before Gray suddenly looked up in surprise and met Lyon's eyes for the first time. They stared at each other silently for a long moment, and then Natsu was alarmed to see his friend's eyes fill with tears.

Gray immediately looked away and tilted his head so that his face was hidden from view, but the slight tremble in his body gave him away. Lyon evidently wasn't fooled, because after a few seconds of indecisive lip-chewing, he leaned forward to wrap the younger mage in a hug. Gray stiffened immediately, but gave in after a moment.

Then he pulled away and stood up suddenly, saying something as he turned away and walked quickly out of the cabin, head bowed, leaving a forlorn Lyon watching him from the sofa. He burst out into the chill mountain air, let the door fall shut behind him, and made a beeline for that outcropping they'd walked past earlier. He quickly disappeared from view, and Natsu reflected that it was good that he'd moved or else Gray would have just walked straight into him.

Taking one last suspicious look at Lyon through the window, Natsu slipped back over to the outcropping and cautiously peered around the edge to see where his friend had gone. It turned out that Gray hadn't gone very far at all. He was sitting in the snow with his back pressed against the rock and his knees pulled to his chest. His face was buried in his knees, but his shoulders shook silently.

"Are you okay?" Natsu asked automatically, worry temporarily eclipsing his survival instinct. He immediately winced as he realized his mistake.

Gray's head jerked up and he stared at Natsu with wide eyes. The look of utter incomprehension and shock on his face would have been hilarious in any other situation, but not when there were still clearly visible tear tracks streaking his cheeks. He gaped at Natsu for several long seconds as the dragon slayer shifted uncomfortably and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do now.

"Natsu?" Gray asked finally, drawing out the dragon slayer's name, disbelief evident in his voice. "What…? How…? What the hell are you doing here?"

Natsu laughed nervously. Crap, he needed to salvage this situation somehow.

"Uh, hi? I came to, um…"

Gray stayed absolutely silent, just staring at him with that same expression of disbelief. The complete lack of reaction made Natsu even more nervous, until he filled the dead air with his anxious babble in an attempt to explain himself.

"Well, you see, you turned down that one fight and that was weird, and then you turned down that other fight this morning and it was weird too, and, uh, I wanted to know why you were being so…weird," he rambled, shifting his weight from foot to foot under the pressure of Gray's gaze. "So I, uh, might've followed you to see what you were up to. You know, 'cause it was weird that you were going on some mysterious trip that wasn't a job or anything. And…Yeah, here I am. Surprise?"

Gray just stared.

"So, uh, _are _you okay?" Natsu asked, anxious to fill the silence and draw some kind of response out of his friend.

The silence dragged on for several more seconds.

"You followed me?" Gray asked finally, his voice oddly flat.

"Um, yeah?"

Gray continued to stare at him with that strange, flat gaze, but then he seemed to suddenly snap out of his daze, anger flaring in his eyes as he pushed himself to his feet and swiped a hand across his eyes.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he growled, glaring at Natsu. "What made you think that I wanted you to follow me?"

"Uh, I–"

"You shouldn't be here."

"I know, but–"

Gray's glower deepened and his hands clenched into fists. "You followed me here because you wanted a fight?"

"Not exactly–"

"Fine," he hissed, advancing on Natsu with blazing eyes. "You can have your goddamn fight."

Natsu retreated a few paces, wondering how he was supposed to defuse the situation. Okay, so yeah, he had wanted a fight. But not really like this.

"Look, can we–?"

He broke off with a yelp as Gray swung at him, and hurriedly dodged out of the way. Well, there was definitely going to be a fight. It wasn't really surprising that Gray was angry, and it was probably even worse because he'd been upset even before Natsu popped up out of nowhere. He obviously wasn't in the mood to overlook the dragon slayer's blunder.

"What, exactly, gave you the impression that this was a good idea?" he growled, aiming a vicious strike at Natsu's chest.

Natsu blocked him. He had been planning to stay mostly on the defensive, but screw it. He could fight back too. Gray was angry enough to want it, anyway, and Natsu was no good at holding back.

"I just thought–"

"No, you weren't _thinking _anything. If you'd been thinking, then you would have realized that you had no right to stalk me across the whole damn continent."

Natsu countered another blow and struck back, but Gray easily blocked it, eyes still bright with anger.

"Maybe it wasn't my best idea, but I just wanted–"

"How _dare _you?" Gray seethed, cutting off Natsu once again. That was starting to get annoying. "Stay the hell away from my past and my feelings and my head and…_ugh_. I have enough problems without you coming to muddle everything up and mess with things that don't concern you. It's not your place to–"

Natsu had had enough.

"It _is _my place!" he roared, catching Gray off guard as he lunged forward and shoved against his chest in frustration, sending them both crashing to the ground. "Fine, maybe I shouldn't have followed you. But the problem with friends is that it _is _their place to stick their noses in your business if they think that something's wrong. If you didn't want us to worry about you when things go wrong then you shouldn't have made us care about you in the first place. You can't have it both ways."

Gray stared up at him blankly, the anger in his eyes melting into something tired and melancholy and altogether indecipherable. Still breathing heavily from getting so worked up, Natsu scowled down at him as he waited to see if the idiot got the point yet.

"Get off me," Gray said quietly, after the silence had dragged on for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds.

Natsu hurriedly backed off and scrambled a couple paces away, still eyeing him. Surely it was a good sign that he'd asked Natsu to get off rather than just punching him? And he certainly seemed less angry. But Natsu was also still wary because his friend was being weird as hell and it was impossible to figure out how to best handle the situation.

Gray just sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees again. He fixed his gaze on the ground and frowned absently.

"Lyon came to see me last week," he said. Natsu regarded him uncertainly for a moment, before relaxing as he came to the conclusion that he didn't need to worry about being attacked again. "He asked me to meet him up here today."

Gray fell silent and stared at the snow moodily, and Natsu cautiously inched over to sit next to him.

"And where is here, exactly?" Natsu asked when his friend showed no inclination of continuing.

Gray gave him a sidelong look, an almost amused expression flitting over his face despite his obvious melancholy. "You followed me across the whole continent and didn't even know where you were going?"

Natsu scowled. "How was I supposed to know? I just hid in whatever train you got on. Doesn't mean I knew where those trains were going."

"Hid? Like a stowaway?"

"Exactly like a stowaway," Natsu grumbled.

"Never thought I'd see the day." A half-smile played at the corners of Gray's mouth for a second before vanishing. He looked away to resume his scrutiny of the ground. "Isvan. We're in Isvan."

"Isn't that where you grew up or whatever?"

"Yes," Gray agreed with a sigh. "I haven't been back here in a decade. That's probably one of the reasons Lyon came to see me so far in advance. I'm sure he guessed that I wouldn't really want to come back and that I'd need time to think about it."

Natsu chewed on his lip thoughtfully as he studied his friend's profile. Isvan, huh? He didn't know much about Gray's childhood, but he could see why coming back here might drag up bad memories. Which begged the question of what was so important that it had convinced him to come here even though he hadn't wanted to.

"What did he want?" Natsu asked. "And why did you come?"

Gray lowered his head a little and hugged his knees more tightly. "Because…It's Ur's death anniversary."

Natsu winced as Gray's melancholy suddenly became a lot more understandable. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. He didn't really know what he should say to that. And apparently that didn't matter, because once Gray had dragged those words out of himself it was like the floodgates had opened.

"He came down last week and asked to meet here today so that we could, I don't know, grieve together or whatever," Gray rambled, narrowing his eyes at the ground. "And I didn't really give him a straight answer, just said that I'd think about it. I don't think he actually expected me to show up. _I _didn't expect me to show up. I didn't want to come back. First I'd think I'd decided to come, but then I'd change my mind, and I've been going back and forth all week. I wasn't sure I'd be coming until I made a snap decision first thing this morning.

"It just seemed like a bad idea, you know? I mean, isn't he supposed to still hate me? And even if he doesn't, it just doesn't make sense to me why he'd want me here. Shouldn't that make things worse for him? I don't know. I feel like I should have stayed away so that he didn't have to deal with me, but he also asked me to come and I feel like I owe him that much, even if I'm not sure it was a great idea. So I came and… Yeah. I came."

He forcefully cut off his babbling and Natsu hesitated for a few seconds, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry," he said finally. Gray just shrugged halfheartedly. "You could have just told someone. It's harder to do it alone."

Gray threw him a baleful look. "Would _you _have told anyone?"

"…No, I suppose not." Natsu sighed. "And I'm not surprised that you didn't say anything either. I just think that maybe it would have been easier if you'd let someone else in."

"Apparently I didn't have to. You followed me anyway."

"Yeah… I'm kind of sorry about that, but not really."

Gray huffed out a laugh that sounded something like a sigh. "Oh well. I'm always trying to keep things to myself so that I can figure them out on my own, but it seems like someone always chases after me and forces themselves into my business anyway." He smiled sadly. "I guess it started with Ur chasing me down, and now someone from the guild always seems to be chasing after me whenever I just want to fix things myself. And then Lyon came after me, and now you. No one ever seems to be able to leave me alone anymore."

Natsu tilted his head slightly and studied his friend. Yeah, Gray was pretty independent and preferred to keep things to himself, and Natsu could see why he might sometimes get frustrated by other people always sticking their noses in his business. Lucy and Erza, especially, would start asking questions if he ever seemed down or they thought something was going on, and they weren't the only ones in the guild who would try to do something if they suspected something was wrong. That's just how Fairy Tail was, because it was family and family looked out for its own.

"Why do you think she chased after you?" Natsu asked finally. "Ur?"

Gray dropped his chin onto his knees and sighed. "Because she loved me."

"And… Why do you think that everyone from the guild always chases after you when they think you're upset?"

"…Because they love me."

"So why do you think that I chased after you now?"

Gray stayed silent for a long moment. "Because you wanted a fight," he mumbled.

"Yeah." Natsu smiled fondly. "Something like that."

Gray sniffed and dragged the back of his hand across his nose, but stayed quiet. Natsu opened his mouth, but was derailed when he sneezed violently. Gray started in surprise and looked over, his eyes widening as he seemed to see the shivering dragon slayer for the first time.

"Good grief," he said, shaking his head. "What were you thinking, coming here without a jacket? You're going to get sick."

Natsu scowled and sneezed again. "If I'd known I'd be stuck in the middle of this godforsaken frozen wasteland then I definitely would have brought warmer clothes. But I didn't know that, did I?"

"Watch it. That's my home you're calling a godforsaken wasteland."

Natsu had a sudden flash of panic that he'd managed to offend his friend while he was already upset, but Gray seemed more amused than anything. The ice mage undid all the buttons on his coat in about two seconds flat, his practice at stripping obviously coming in handy, and shrugged off the garment so that he could hand it to Natsu.

"But–"

"Do you really think I can't handle the cold?" Gray asked, amused. "Trust me, I've run around up here with way less clothing than this."

Natsu snorted and accepted the offering, tugging the jacket on. Now that he wasn't hiding he could probably just use his magic to warm up, but he didn't mention that.

"Yeah, I'm amazed you actually still had so much clothing on."

Gray opened his mouth but then paused, a bewildered look spreading across his face. Looking down, he tugged at his shirt with a frown.

"Huh. Yeah, that's kind of weird. I guess I've been distracted."

"Never stopped you before."

"Yeah, but this is…different." Gray shifted, his gaze sliding off to the side. "Anyway, I should probably go back. I just ran out on Lyon and said I'd be back in a minute. I shouldn't make him worry any more than he already has."

Natsu's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What did he say to make you cry?"

Gray seemed to deflate, slumping back and staring downwards with glazed eyes. For a moment, Natsu didn't think he was going to get an answer.

"He said…" Gray let out a shuddering breath. "He said that it wasn't really my fault and that he…that he forgave me."

Natsu watched silently as Gray scrubbed at his face with his hands and steadfastly didn't look at the dragon slayer. On the bright side, Lyon hadn't been a jerk after all. On the less bright side, this only illustrated exactly how much Gray had needed to hear those words for all these years.

"Well, I guess I won't have to kill him after all then," Natsu said, instead of voicing his thoughts.

Gray finally looked over at him, blinking uncertainly. "Huh? Why would you want to kill him?"

"The last time I saw him was on Galuna, and he was a complete asshole," Natsu said dryly, rolling his eyes. "And I didn't know why you came up here and what he was doing. Is it really that surprising that I assumed he was messing with you again?"

"I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, but I'm a big fan of beating people up so I look for any excuse to do it. I'll steal your kills if I have to."

Gray choked out a laugh and twisted to the side as he rubbed at his eyes with shaky hands. Natsu averted his gaze.

"If he wasn't being a jerk then why did you leave?" he asked, absently playing with the sleeve of his borrowed jacket, which he suddenly found fascinating.

"Is that a real question?" Gray asked, sniffing again. "Because I didn't want to completely lose it in front of him. I didn't necessarily want to lose it in front of you either."

Natsu darted a quick glance over at him. "Is it really better to lose it alone?"

"I don't know. I always thought so." Gray took a couple calming breaths and then pushed himself to his feet, carefully removing any traces of tears from his face as he rearranged his expression into something more neutral. "Well, I suppose you're going to have to come too, although I doubt he'll be any happier to see you than I was."

"I can just stay out here."

"In the cold?"

Natsu huffed impatiently. "I've got a jacket. And fire magic."

Gray eyed him shrewdly. "Yes, but it's almost evening, so unless you want to sleep out in the snow all night…"

"I'm coming," Natsu said, hurriedly jumping to his feet. No way did he want to stay out here the whole night. It was already cold enough.

"I thought so." Gray only made it a few steps before hesitating and turning back to frown at Natsu. "I know you aren't exactly his biggest fan, but don't antagonize him, okay? Just…It's not all about me. He's grieving too. Remember that."

Natsu didn't really want to make any promises, but when he took in Gray's expression, he sighed and nodded. Satisfied, the ice mage headed back to the cabin, Natsu following behind as dusk slowly settled over the mountaintop. Gray paused outside the door for a moment before taking a deep breath and quietly going inside. Lyon was still sitting on the couch, staring blankly down at his hands folded in his lap, but his head jerked up when he heard the door open and he eyed Gray uncertainly.

"Are you…?"

"Yeah." Gray cleared his throat, his gaze sliding off to the side. "But we seem to have an unexpected visitor."

"What–?" Lyon broke off as Natsu edged into the cabin and shut the door. He stared at the dragon slayer uncomprehendingly for several seconds. "Where did _you _spring from?"

"Apparently he followed me all the way from Magnolia and I never noticed," Gray said, sighing tiredly. "Sorry."

"I don't blame _you_," Lyon grumbled. He threw Natsu an annoyed look. "I blame _him_."

Natsu opened his mouth, but forcibly stopped himself from saying something rude as he remembered Gray's warning. "Hi," he said instead.

Lyon's eyebrows shot up and Gray shook his head slightly in exasperation.

"Well, it's been a long and tiring day, so why don't we make dinner?" Gray suggested, trying to cut through the tension. "I sure hope you brought enough food, Lyon. This flame-brained idiot has a bottomless stomach and I'm sure he's starved after chasing me around all day."

"Hey," Natsu protested halfheartedly. The gloomy atmosphere made it hard to really get excited about banter.

Lyon scowled at him for a few more seconds before sighing. "Fine. It's not going to be anything fancy, but I can make something."

Natsu looked back and forth between the two ice mages. "If you two want to talk, I can just go in the other room," he offered.

Gray snorted. "With that hearing of yours, you'll be able to hear whatever goes on in this place. It's not big."

"I won't listen."

"Sure you will. You're too curious for your own good."

"Whatever." That was hard to dispute. Just because Natsu fully intended to block out any conversation didn't mean that he wouldn't eventually cave in and start listening despite his best efforts.

"…I'll just go make dinner." Lyon shook his head tiredly and headed for the kitchen.

Gray stared after him, but then sighed and followed. "Come on, flame brain."

Natsu wasn't sure that was such a great idea, but he obeyed. He lurked in the doorway and tried to wish himself invisible to escape the awkwardness. Gray leaned up against a counter nearby where Lyon was working and eyed the older mage skeptically.

"Can you even cook?"

"Of course," Lyon huffed. He hesitated for a split second. "Well, sort of. I can do the basics. And it's not like we're going to be eating a gourmet meal up here in a place that's been abandoned for so long that half the appliances don't work anymore. I think I can manage. I'll do a better job than _you _anyway."

"How do you know?" Gray arched an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest. "You've barely seen me in years. How do you know that I haven't learned to cook in all that time?"

"Have you?"

One corner of Gray's mouth twitched upwards. "No."

"Then stop complaining."

"Ah well, it's not like Ur was ever a great chef either." Gray's smile was melancholy.

"Yeah…" Lyon sighed and directed his gaze back at the food he was chopping up. "She knew the basics too though."

"Sure, she could do the simple things, but remember that time she tried to make that fancy cake for your birthday and it was horrible?"

Despite himself, Lyon cracked a smile. "I still don't understand how anyone could ruin a cake so badly."

Natsu wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. It was already awkward enough, and listening to the ice mages reminisce about times and people that he didn't know just made it worse. This was a conversation that Natsu clearly didn't belong in, and he felt like he was intruding. Maybe he could just sneak out to the other room and try to tune it out.

As if sensing Natsu's discomfort, Gray glanced over and studied him with unreadable eyes for a moment. Then he smiled a little, and although the melancholy mood was still there, it was lighter than it had been before.

"She could always cook the normal things," he told Natsu conversationally. "But every once in while she would get ambitious and try out some fancy recipe she found, and it almost always ended disastrously. One time she found this really complicated cake recipe she wanted to make for Lyon's birthday. It looked really good, until we bit into it and realized that she used salt instead of sugar. It was truly terrible."

Natsu automatically started to smile, before catching himself and eyeing Gray uncertainly. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly being included in this or what his reaction should be.

"Uh, that sounds bad?"

"Mhm." Gray's eyes took on a faraway look for a moment before he refocused on Natsu, a sly smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I still think that it was just payback for the time Lyon thought it would be a good idea to hide all the dishes and silverware and we spent almost two hours searching for them before he decided that a prank wasn't worth his life."

"Ha ha," Lyon said dryly.

Natsu hesitated, before smiling a little. It occurred to him that maybe Gray was just making an effort to keep him included in a conversation that he really had no place in, and maybe to lighten the atmosphere a little bit. And in any case, Gray had never been very open about his life before Fairy Tail so these were stories that Natsu had never been privy to before. It was hard to entirely forget the melancholy of the occasion, but maybe they were just all trying to make the best of a bad situation.

"You sound like you were pretty horrible," Natsu remarked, grinning over at Lyon.

The older mage paused in his preparations to scowl over at him. "You're _still _pretty horrible."

Natsu snorted in amusement and Gray rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you're not exactly an angel," Gray told Natsu, shaking his head. "But yeah, neither of us were little angels as kids either. We could be pretty damn annoying." He nudged Lyon with his elbow. "Hey, remember that time when she was out and we decided it would be fun to build snowmen in the house?"

Lyon had looked like he was about to chew Gray out for bumping him and almost making him drop the food on the floor, but his features softened. "Man, she was pissed. How were we supposed to know that she'd object to a little snow in the house? The woman took ice baths, for crying out loud."

Gray laughed and then grinned lazily at Natsu. "We dragged enough snow in here to cover everything and then built a whole army of snowmen. She wasn't impressed by our artistic skills."

"You were a troublemaker right from the beginning, huh?" Natsu shook his head and bit back a smile.

Lyon leaned back and smiled at Gray sadly. "Mostly I remember because you actually really got into it and had a good time."

Gray frowned a little and looked away, leaving Natsu puzzled.

"Why wouldn't he?" the dragon slayer wondered aloud. "That sounds exactly like the kind of thing he'd do for the fun of it."

"He didn't have fun with much of anything back then," Lyon replied, shaking his head. He kept his gaze on Gray. "Ur and I used to have, like, competitions to try to make you smile or laugh, you know. The times when you were actually laughing and in a good mood stick in my memory since they were so few and far between."

Natsu winced, not appreciating the implications of that. Gray stayed silent for a moment longer, before giving Lyon a smirk that Natsu could tell wasn't entirely genuine.

"You might've gotten better results if your jokes weren't always so lame."

Lyon rolled his eyes. "My jokes were great."

"They sucked and weren't funny."

"They were plenty funny. Maybe you only thought they weren't funny because you didn't want them to be." Lyon sighed. "I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw you again after all these years, but you're definitely different. You've changed a lot."

Something dark flickered in Gray's eyes and he looked away. "Good."

Lyon winced. "I didn't… I just meant that you're happier now."

"Of course," Gray said dismissively, nudging Lyon aside without a second glance so that he could take up the prep work that the older mage had abandoned. Despite his admission that he couldn't cook, he chopped through the vegetables neatly and confidently. "It would be hard to be any _less _happy."

Lyon grimaced, and Natsu thought that his expression might be something similar. It wasn't really a surprise that Gray hadn't been all happy and cheerful after watching his parents die, but hearing it laid out so bluntly was kind of depressing.

"Gray…"

"And it's kind of hard to stay too unhappy when you have all sorts of weirdo friends constantly harassing you," Gray added, his voice light, although he kept his eyes fixed on his work. "Although I could really do without being followed everywhere. I don't need another stalker."

Natsu hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. It seemed like Gray was more than willing to try keeping the conversation more upbeat, and he was obviously trying to smooth over all the serious topics Lyon had brought up.

"I'm so sorry to inconvenience you, Gray-sama," the dragon slayer said after a moment, making sure to use a horrible falsetto for effect.

Gray actually flinched and cringed, before turning to fix him with a baleful look. "Don't you dare."

Natsu grinned cheekily. After a few more seconds of glowering, the corners of Gray's lips twitched upwards as well. Crisis averted.

"And I thought you were already bad enough," he said, shaking his head. "I think I've found the most annoying thing in the world now. If we take Juvia's most irritating qualities and combine them with…well, with _all _of you, then that has to be the most annoying thing ever created."

"You know you like it. Don't you, Gray-sama?"

Gray cringed automatically again and scowled. "I have to deal with her stalking me half the time already. I don't need you picking up her habits."

"Wait." Lyon looked back and forth between Gray and Natsu for a moment, and then smirked. "Does Gray have a _girlfriend_?"

"No," Gray snapped, wincing. "No, I do not."

"Well, maybe you should tell _her _that," Natsu said, snickering.

"I _have_. She's nice enough, but she doesn't know how to take no for an answer."

No one felt like stepping back out onto the minefield again right now, so they kept the conversation on lighter topics for the rest of the night. The teasing and joking was a little subdued since there was still a cloud hanging over their heads, but it was there and all overly-depressing topics were avoided. Natsu wondered how much of that might be due to him, just because Gray and Lyon didn't want to discuss Ur while he was there.

Dinner turned out alright, if a little burned. The burning wasn't actually due to the ice mages' lack of cooking skill, but to the fact that Natsu was starving and too impatient to be bothered with waiting, and in his eagerness had opted to forgo the stove so that he could accidentally char their food with his magic instead. Oops. But aside from a few halfhearted complaints, the others just rolled their eyes and accepted it.

It was as they were finishing their meal that Natsu finally worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been on the tip of his tongue since he'd first walked in here.

"So, uh, how long are you planning to stay up here?"

Gray and Lyon fell silent and exchanged looks.

"It was a one-day thing," Lyon said finally, frowning down at his empty plate. "We'll leave in the morning."

Natsu studied him curiously, wondering what this would mean for the future. Was this just a one-day truce? It was hard to figure out the older mage's intentions when the last time they'd met had been on Galuna. That had been an entirely different experience, for sure.

"I'm sure you must be tired from suffering through all those hours of train rides," Gray told Natsu. His voice was light, but there was a firm edge underlying it. "Why don't you go get some sleep? Lyon and I will clean up here."

Natsu almost protested that he wasn't really that tired, but caught the look Gray was giving him and nodded hurriedly. "Yup, I'm tired. Super tired. I'll just…Yeah. Thanks for cleaning up."

He beat a hasty retreat and started looking around the cabin for a place to sleep. He could hear hushed voices in the kitchen, but as long as Gray and Lyon just whispered, he could tune out the noise without picking out the individual words. He had said that he'd try not to listen in if Gray and Lyon wanted to talk, so despite the curiosity clawing at his insides, Natsu pulled a worn blanket over his head and ignored the voices until he drifted off to sleep.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a while I wasn't sure if I'd actually post this or if I'd just rework the first part and leave it as a one-shot, but the title comes from this part so it had to stay. I can already hear the confusion: "But Mnemosyne's Elegy/Mnemosyne/Elegy/M.E./hey-you-author-girl-with-the-unpronounceable-pen-name, why would you write something weird like this that doesn't have anything to do with the prompt? And when you were actually doing surprisingly well at keeping the boys close to canon in the first part too..." To which I say: Bah, have you seen what canon has been giving us lately? -smh- But in all seriousness, I felt like writing something a little different and sometimes I get oddball ideas out of nowhere :)

Natsu wasn't exactly sure what had woken him up, but he was definitely awake now. Taking a second to stare blearily up at the ceiling, he quickly ran over the previous day's events in his head until he got his bearings and figured out what he was doing in this unfamiliar room. That was right, he'd followed Gray all the way up to Isvan. And a hellish trip that had been.

He sat up and swept his gaze across the shadowy room, his keen eyes squinting in an attempt to pierce through the darkness and figure out what had woken him. Nothing moved or made a sound other than Lyon breathing softly in his sleep over by the other wall. Gray, however, was nowhere to be seen.

Natsu didn't know if Gray getting up was what had dragged him out of his slumber or if it had been something else entirely, but he was fairly certain that his friend wasn't expecting to be disturbed. Therefore, he could happily go back to sleep, no harm done. He entertained this fantasy for a few seconds before sighing and standing up, careful to be quiet so as not to wake Lyon. After how clearly upset Gray had been earlier, maybe it wasn't such a great idea to leave him alone to brood. And yes, maybe Natsu was a teensy bit curious about what he might be doing so late at night. One of these days that curiosity of his was going to get him into trouble.

But for now he just tiptoed across the room, wincing every time a floorboard squeaked under his foot or he bumped into something. Since the cabin was small, it took him all of about two minutes to ascertain that Gray was not inside at all. Fantastic. Well, this would be a great time to go back to sleep. It's not like Gray would ever know that anyone had realized he'd left, so Natsu could just play dumb tomorrow like nothing had happened. After all, he had no intention of going outside at night in these frigid conditions

Cursing quietly under his breath, he crept over to the door to retrieve Gray's coat from where it was still hanging on a hook on the wall—of course the idiot had gone wandering out in arctic temperatures without a jacket—and tugged the garment on grumpily. Sadly, he actually did have a functioning conscience, contrary to popular belief. Gray might never know that he had chosen to leave him alone on a night like this, but Natsu would know and it might bother him for all of about half a day before he happily forgot about it. He'd risk venturing out in the cold to avoid half a day of regret.

Slipping outside, he closed the door quietly behind him and grimaced as a gust of icy wind swept past him. And he'd thought it was cold earlier. Ha. He quickly calculated that half a day of regret was worth about three minutes of this frozen hell. If he didn't find Gray in three minutes then it would be bedtime again.

Natsu pulled the borrowed jacket around himself more tightly and set forth with grim determination, the snow crunching quietly under his feet as he trudged onward. He was just about to give up and call it a night when he almost tripped right over Gray. Hissing in surprise, he quickly jerked back, his foot coming down half an inch to the side of his friend's head.

"What the _hell _are you doing?" he sputtered, scowling down at Gray and wondering how he could possibly think it was a good idea to lay flat on his back in a snowbank in the middle of the arctic night without even a jacket. "You're going to get sick and die, and I'm going to laugh at your funeral since you were dumb enough to get yourself killed by hypo–hypo–"

"Hypothermia?" Gray suggested helpfully, making no move to get up.

"It would be pretty pathetic for an ice mage to die of hypo–whatever." Natsu nudged him with his foot. "You know, you can just as easily stare at nothing inside as outside."

"Yes." Gray sighed and kept his eyes resolutely fixed on what appeared to be nothing in particular. "If I was staring at nothing then that would be true."

Natsu frowned and tilted his head upward, trying to figure out what he could possibly be looking at. "What, the stars?"

"Mhm."

"Never took you for a stargazer." He prodded at Gray with his foot again, but his friend just swatted it away irritably. "Come on, it's freezing out here. You can look at the stars some other time."

"Go back inside before you freeze whatever few brain cells you have left," Gray said, the amusement in his voice not quite disguising the underlying melancholy. "I'll come in when I feel like it."

Natsu hesitated, trying to figure out the best course of action. Then he sighed and moved over to Gray's side so that he could settle himself down in the snow next to the other mage. Wincing as the icy wetness immediately began to seep through his clothing and chill his skin, he decided that this benevolent act would count as his good deed for the year. He could already tell that this was going to take longer than three minutes.

Gray sighed again. "It would be pretty pathetic for a fire mage to die of hypothermia too. Go back to bed, Natsu. I don't need company."

"Maybe not, but you look like you could use some anyway," Natsu said, vainly trying to ignore the arctic conditions. "So, why stars?"

Gray turned his head to the side to study the dragon slayer silently for a few moments, but either he thought this was a fight he couldn't win or he needed the company more than he let on, because he just looked back up at the sky again with a faint frown.

"When I was a kid, I had trouble sleeping," he said after a few seconds. "Either my thoughts would keep me up or I wouldn't want to go back to sleep after the nightmares woke me up. And let me tell you, it gets really boring staring at the ceiling night after night, so eventually I started coming outside instead.

"Before I figured out where all the creaky boards were, I accidentally woke Ur up a couple times. Sometimes she'd follow me out, but she knew that I didn't want to talk about…everything…so she started teaching me about the stars and constellations instead. I was a fast learner because I needed something to take my mind off things and that did the trick. I think she knew that. Sounds strange, but I know an awful lot about stars, believe it or not."

"Oh…"

Natsu wasn't sure what to make of that. Yeah, the star thing was unexpected and kind of sad. It did, at least, explain what Gray was doing out here in the middle of the night. Maybe it wasn't surprising that he was recreating something that he had shared with his master, so close to the anniversary of her death. Natsu wasn't sure if this made his presence here better or worse. He was obviously the wrong person for this and he couldn't replace the person who should be here, but maybe he was still better than nothing.

"I haven't been back here in a long time," Gray said quietly, "and I don't know if I'll ever come back again. So I want to do this here one last time, just for tonight. Yes, I can look at the stars anywhere else too, but it's not the same."

Natsu stayed quiet for a moment. "They all kind of look the same to me."

"They all looked the same to me too, at first," Gray said with a tired laugh. "And none of the constellations look like what they're named after. But I certainly don't have the patience to teach you. You'd make a terrible student."

"Did I ask you to teach me?" Natsu huffed, rolling his eyes. "You'd be better off talking stars with Lucy. You should've told her about this and you two would have hit it off right away."

Gray shook his head slightly. "It's really…personal. It's not something I go around sharing."

Natsu bit his tongue, still not quite sure what to make of the fact that he was sharing this now. If he'd caught Gray at any other time, he doubted he would have ever learned any of this. He just hoped that his friend didn't end up regretting it once he returned to a more normal mood.

"Because of Ur?" he suggested.

"Not exactly."

"Then why?"

"Because…" Gray's voice trailed off, fading to nothing in the silence of the night, and Natsu had the momentary feeling that he wouldn't answer. "Have you ever heard those people who say that their dead loved ones look down on them from the stars or sky or whatever? I don't know if they actually believe it or if it's just supposed to be a pretty metaphor."

Natsu stared at him blankly. "You think that dead people are watching you from stars?"

Then he winced, belatedly realizing that maybe he should be more tactful about what he said while his friend was like this. Even if the idea still seemed kind of dumb to him.

"Of course not," Gray said dismissively. "It's not that. But… God, this is going to sound silly. When I was a kid, I went through and picked out certain stars for everyone who was important to me, both alive and dead. And it was a habit I never really shook—I still end up choosing stars for everyone I care about. It's not that I think they're actually up on those stars or whatever. It's just…a reminder, I guess."

"A reminder of what?"

"Of… Well, if I'm out here looking at the stars, it usually means that something's bothering me, you know? It's really easy to get lost in the pain and forget everything else. So the stars I chose are kind of like a reminder of everything I've lost, but in a less morbid, more optimistic way. But they're also a reminder of everything I still have, of all the people that are still here, because sometimes it's easy to forget about all the good I've still got left. And it helps put things into perspective. The loss seems so big and consuming, but I look up and see that it's really only a few small pinpricks against all the rest. I know, I know, it sounds totally lame, but I started it as a kid and just never let it go."

'Lame' wasn't the word Natsu would use, actually. It was a little odd, definitely something he wouldn't have expected from Gray of all people, but it was strangely sweet and obviously meaningful.

"So…you have stars for everyone important?"

"Yeah."

"Fairy Tail?"

Gray huffed out a soft laugh and pointed at a spot in the sky. Natsu couldn't honestly tell which particular star his friend was indicating—they all looked exactly the same and there were so _many_—but he kept his mouth shut.

"That one is Erza's. It's part of the Phoenix, because nothing can keep her down and she can always overcome the odds even when everything seems lost. She's good at not giving up hope so that she can rebuild anything that's been burned down and rise from the ashes." His finger traced across the sky, coming to rest on another star. "That one is Lucy's. Hers is in Virgo."

"Whoa," Natsu interrupted before he thought better of it. "That weird, masochistic girl?"

"It has nothing to do with the spirit," Gray grumbled. "And anyway, it was a sort of tongue-in-cheek choice, to be honest. Lucy has the outer appearance of a silly girl, or maiden, in this case, but she's tougher than she looks and there's more to her than meets the eye."

Natsu eyed him curiously. He was a little surprised at how much thought Gray had put into this, but maybe that was what made it so meaningful.

"Do I have a star too?"

"Of course."

"What constellation am I? Something really cool, right?"

Gray's face lit up with a beatific smile, softened even further in the moonlight. His finger travelled several inches away from Lucy's star.

"That's yours. It's part of Lacerta."

Natsu racked his brain, but he barely even knew the most well-known constellations. "What's that? Something really powerful, yeah? Ooh! A dragon?"

Gray's smile widened. "The lizard."

Natsu stared at him blankly. "…What?"

"Well, a lizard is kind of like a really wimpy dragon, right?" Gray asked, snickering.

"_What?_"

"Look, I picked it out way back when we hadn't known each other for long and I still hadn't gotten used to your annoyingness. You can't possibly have forgotten that our friendship had a rocky start."

"Why give me a star at all if we weren't even friends yet?" Natsu muttered mutinously, still smarting from the lizard slight. "I thought they were only for important people."

"Yeah." Gray let his arm fall back down to rest across his stomach as he frowned up at the star thoughtfully. "And I wasn't very good at getting along with people back then. But you were still part of the guild and I was finally starting to dislike you less and I thought that…I don't know. I guess I just thought that maybe it would be nice if we _were _friends, so I picked out a star as a reminder that one day I wanted you to be someone important enough to me to have a place up there."

Natsu's glower slowly faded away, along with most of his irritation, as he tried to bore a hole into Gray's skull with his eyes. It was kind of weird to think of that same angry little kid who seemed to hate everybody also having a side like this. But it was also a little humbling, just thinking about the chance Gray had extended to someone he hadn't even seemed to like much, and all the effort he must have put in to make things work out.

Natsu cleared his throat. "But a lizard?"

The corners of Gray's lips twitched upwards. "It was really, really satisfying, especially when you were at your most irritating. Actually, it's still pretty damn satisfying."

"Can't I get a new star? There has to be something cooler out there. Is there like a dragon or something? I wanna be a dragon."

"You can't just switch stars," Gray protested, scandalized. "I pick them all for a reason, and there's too much meaning to just throw it out. Although yes, there's a dragon. But someone's already got Draco and I don't like to double-up on constellations unless I run out of good ones or there's a really good reason for it."

"Wait, you gave _someone else _the dragon?" Natsu demanded. "Who is possibly more dragon-y than me? It had better not be Gajeel. I'm a way better dragon slayer than him!"

Gray shifted uncomfortably in the snow, a reluctant look spreading across his face. "Not Gajeel."

"Then who?"

Gray just shrugged halfheartedly, clearly not enthusiastic about sharing. But whatever reservations Natsu might have about pushing him on a night like this were eclipsed by the pressing need to know just who had stolen his rightful constellation.

"Who?" he repeated.

Gray sighed, but slowly lifted his arm again to point at some nondescript patch of sky. "That one is Igneel's."

Natsu started in surprise, wondering what he had just misheard. "Excuse me?"

"I know, I know, it's not really my place." Gray's gaze drifted as far away from Natsu as it possibly could without the ice mage actually turning around. "I mean, I never met him and he's not an important person to me. But he's a really important person to you and I went with you on some of your quests to search for him and… I don't know. He was important to you and you were important to me, and I guess I thought that if you didn't have a reminder in the stars for him then I'd keep one for you."

A melancholy smile ghosted over his face as he lifted his arm once more to trace over what Natsu could only assume was a constellation. "Big lizard," he murmured. He moved his hand off to the side and traced another shape. "Little lizard."

When Natsu finally remembered how to breathe again, he sucked in a lungful of air and stared at Gray with wide eyes. That was… He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat and Gray stayed silent, still looking uncomfortable as if he was half-expecting Natsu to call him out on overstepping his boundaries.

"Can you show me again?" the dragon slayer asked finally, his voice smaller than he wanted it to be.

Gray turned his head just enough to finally look at him, and studied him uncertainly for a moment. Then he nodded and traced out the constellation again, emphasizing Igneel's particular star.

"I'll never remember that," Natsu said with a sigh.

"Stars are my thing, not yours." Gray smiled a little and reached over to tug at Natsu's scarf gently. "You've already got your own reminder, haven't you?"

"Yeah," Natsu mumbled, unconsciously reaching up to wrap his fingers around the scarf and adjust it more securely against the chill night air. He cleared his throat. "But I think you meant to say 'big dragon, little dragon'."

Gray smirked. "Big dragon, little lizard."

Natsu groaned in defeat but didn't push it. He couldn't really be irritated about the lizard thing anymore, not after this.

"Oh, and there's Happy's star in Pisces," Gray added, clearly ready to get out of awkward waters.

"Pisces?"

Gray rolled his eyes. "The fishes."

Natsu couldn't help but laugh. "Man, he'd love that. Fish."

"Yeah, I thought so too," Gray said, smiling a little.

"Better than a lizard."

"Whatever."

"Hey, what about Lyon?" Natsu asked, remembering the other mage still asleep in the cabin.

Gray groaned, immediately looking embarrassed again. "Yeah, he's got one too," he muttered noncommittally.

"Where?" Natsu asked, a predatory smirk easing across his face. He had a feeling there was a good story here.

Gray reluctantly pointed upwards. "That one."

"And what constellation might that be?" the dragon slayer asked when his friend made no move to elaborate.

"Gemini," Gray grumbled, after a long pause. He rubbed his hand across his face. "The twins."

"Whoa, does he have a secret twin? Oh crap, I don't think I can deal with more than one of him."

"No, he doesn't have a twin." Gray rolled his eyes and poked at the snowbank beside him with sudden interest.

"So why did you pick it then?"

"It's stupid," he muttered.

"So are you," Natsu replied cheerfully. "But you might as well tell me, because now I'm curious and I'll bother you until you do."

"I was just a kid," Gray said defensively. "Kids think silly things."

"Uh-huh…"

He sighed in defeat. "It took me a while to warm up to him, but eventually I started seeing him as something like family. He was kind of like that annoying big brother I'd never had."

Natsu blinked at him blankly for a second and then smiled a little. "I bet he'd love to hear that."

"Maybe there was a time way back as kids when he would have wanted that, but I never told him then," Gray said moodily. "And God knows I was too stubborn to really show it either. And then things changed, and it's not the same anymore. It doesn't matter now. It's silly."

"I wouldn't call it silly," Natsu said honestly. He grinned. "Cute, maybe."

Gray scowled. "I'm not _cute_."

"Aw, it's so cute how you just want to be family but you're too scared to tell him except through stars," Natsu cooed, before sobering a little. "He's here now, you know. Whatever you didn't say then, you can say now."

"It was a long time ago, and things are different. It's too late."

"Of course it's not too late. He's not dead, is he?" Natsu immediately winced, regretting that he had brought up the subject of death so flippantly, given the occasion.

Gray stayed quiet for a moment, but then pointed at the sky again. "That one right there, Polaris, the North Star, is Ur's," he said quietly. "It's a guiding star, you know? The one you can use to navigate and all that. She's been leading me for most of my life. At first it was just that her death was a defining moment for me, pushed me to take certain paths and haunted me with the guilt, but even now I still use all those things she taught me to show me the way. I've spent half my life chasing after her, and the other half running away even though I knew I couldn't escape. But in the end, no matter how far I run, she always guides me back."

Natsu swallowed hard. "Gray–"

"Those are my parents' stars. And over there I have stars for all the people I knew back in my hometown, before Deliora destroyed it. I was just a kid and it's been so long that I can't remember all of their faces anymore, can't remember all of their names, even. I just have little snatches of things—a name or the sound of a voice or a glimpse of the face of a child who never got to grow up. But they've still got stars because they were my friends once, even if I only half-remember some of them. So many stars."

He sighed heavily. "No matter what else I've forgotten, I keep reminders so that I can't forget entirely. It's not all bad. Sometimes it feels good—or cleansing, at least—to remember everyone who's gone too, because I still loved them. Love them. And all the rest are here to remind me that I'm not alone and I've still got a lot to be thankful for. Maybe it seems silly, but sometimes I need that reminder."

The two friends stared upwards in silence for what felt like an eternity. Natsu didn't know what to say to that and suspected that maybe Gray didn't really want a reply at all, but he had to say something.

"And where is your star?" he asked finally, shattering the stillness.

"My star? Why would I need a star? Do you really think I need a reminder for myself?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Sometimes that's the most important reminder of all, isn't it? To remind you of yourself and all the good in you too. And it seems kind of sad that you have a whole sky full of the people you care about, but you aren't up there with them."

Gray stared at him and, as the silence dragged on, Natsu suddenly realized exactly how stupid he sounded. He was glad that it was dark because he could feel himself flush, his face heating up despite the chill.

"Forget it, I–"

"Shh." Gray looked upwards again, his brow crinkling in concentration as he searched the sky. After a couple minutes, he pointed at something or other. "That one."

Natsu gazed up at the sea of twinkling lights, finally feeling that vague sense of awe that he supposed Gray must feel. "Which constellation?"

Gray studied his star with a calculating look. "Cygnus."

Natsu wanted to ask which one Cygnus was and why he had chosen it, but Gray stood up suddenly, brushing snow off his clothing.

"We should go in." He quirked an eyebrow and smirked lazily at Natsu. "Before we get sick and die of 'hypo–whatever'."

Natsu rolled his eyes and gratefully jumped to his feet, tugging the coat closer as if that could stop his shivering or the chattering of his teeth. "Please."

Gray laughed and headed back for the cabin.

"You've had enough stars for tonight?" Natsu asked cautiously, before his friend opened the door.

"Yeah." Gray sighed and smiled tiredly. "It's enough for now. Sometimes I get more important, and annoying, reminders than stars. I'll go to sleep, if that's what you're worried about."

Natsu smiled a little. "Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight."

They slipped back inside quietly and Natsu quickly slithered underneath his blanket and snuggled into it as much as he could in an attempt to overcome the damp chill. Something came whizzing through the air and whacked him in the face, and he had to muffle a startled yelp before realizing that it was just a blanket. Gray must've found an extra for him. Natsu pulled that one over himself too and settled down to sleep, although the night's conversation seemed to play over and over again in his mind. But eventually exhaustion won out and he slipped into sleep.

* * *

Normally Natsu didn't mind mornings, but he was tired after such a late night and really just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep as soon as he woke up. Instead, he reluctantly abandoned the relative warmth of his blankets and grimaced as the cool air hit his skin. Gray was still sleeping over on the other side of the room, and Natsu rolled his eyes as he realized that his friend didn't even have a blanket. Apparently he hadn't found an extra blanket last night at all, but had given Natsu his own. Ice mage or not, that seemed kind of dumb after lying out in the snow.

The dragon slayer returned one of the blankets to Gray, briefly considering waking him up but quickly dismissing the idea. He had been able to tell from Gray's breathing that he had still been awake by the time Natsu fell asleep last night, so he could probably use a few more minutes of rest.

Natsu headed for the kitchen to scrounge for breakfast, keeping an eye out for Lyon, who was obviously already awake. Sure enough, the older mage was seated at the kitchen table, reading through a sheaf of papers as he absently sipped at the contents of a mug.

"I'm surprised you're awake so early," he said without looking up. "You had a late night."

Natsu started in surprise. "What? Did he wake you up leaving?"

"_You _woke me up. You must have stepped on every squeaky board and bumped into every piece of furniture on your way out."

"Oh… Sorry."

Lyon shrugged. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Gray used to go out a lot at night when he couldn't sleep. He woke me up a couple times too. I'd always wait up for him to make sure he came back."

Natsu eyed the other man, wondering once again what exactly he wanted from Gray now. The disconnect between the person on Galuna and the person here now and from the childhood stories was jarring, and Natsu wasn't sure what to make of it.

Shrugging it off, he drifted over to the stove where there was a kettle on the heat, drawn by the promise of something potentially edible. The brown color and bitter scent suggested strong coffee, which was probably exactly what he needed right now.

"The mugs next to the stove are clean," Lyon said. "You can use one if you want."

"Thanks." Natsu grabbed one of the indicated mugs and poured his drink into it, before sitting down at the table across from the other mage. He took a sip and immediately spit it back out as an odd flavor assailed his tongue, something bitter and burnt and unpleasant. "What the hell kind of coffee is this?" he sputtered, glowering at the drink in disgust.

"It's not coffee," Lyon snapped, scowling at him indignantly. "It's hot chocolate."

"Hot chocolate? There's nothing chocolate about this!"

"I like to use dark chocolate," Lyon said, turning his nose up as he gave Natsu a contemptuous look. "It's not as sweet as what you might be used to."

"I don't think that's the problem," Natsu grumbled. Either there was no chocolate in the drink at all, or the other man had somehow managed to destroy its flavor beyond all recognition. But it was probably better not to pick a fight, so he just pushed the mug away and dropped the subject. "Whatcha reading?"

Lyon eyed him suspiciously for a moment longer before shrugging. "Just some reports and things. I have some business to take care of up here once Gray wakes up and you two leave."

Natsu was pretty sure that Gray wouldn't want him to share anything that had happened last night, but he still had serious questions about Lyon's motives and future intentions.

"And when we go our separate ways, what are your plans for the future where Gray is concerned?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I have no idea why you suddenly contacted him and aren't acting like a jerk after everything you pulled on Galuna, and I want to know if that's a permanent change or if you're just going to disappear and never show up again."

Lyon's gaze dropped to the tabletop and he frowned at it unseeingly. "I don't know. I haven't decided yet."

Gray would be super pissed if he ever found out that Natsu had done this, but…

"Did you know that he has a thing for stars?" the dragon slayer asked conversationally.

"Uh… No?"

"Apparently he knows a lot about stars. As a kid he even picked out individual stars for everyone he cared about, and the constellation they're in says something about the person. He uses them as reminders of the things he cares about."

"That's what he kept doing at night?" Lyon sighed and rubbed at his face. "I wouldn't have expected it of him, but he was always kind of a mystery."

Natsu kept his voice casual, but watched the older mage carefully to gauge his reaction and to decide how far to take this. "His star for you is in Gemini."

Lyon frowned. "The twins? Why? I don't have a twin."

"Oh, you don't?" Natsu asked casually. "I don't suppose you have a brother either?"

"Huh? Of course I don't–" Lyon broke off, eyes widening slightly as he glanced towards the other room where Gray was still sleeping. "Oh."

"He seems to think that it's too late, but I suppose that's up to you, isn't it?" Natsu's feigned nonchalance melted away and he gave Lyon a hard look. "Figure out what you want from him and where you want to go from here. Don't lead him on if you're not planning to stick around."

Lyon stayed quiet. He gazed at the empty doorway a little longer before picking up his mug and swirling its contents around slowly as he stared down at them blankly.

"I'll think about it," he said finally. "I don't know exactly where we should go from here yet, but I'll think about it."

It wasn't a real answer, but it was better than nothing. If nothing else, he was at least aware of the situation now and had a better understanding of how important his next move would be. Natsu wasn't really surprised that he'd need some time to decide what to do. After all, Gray and Lyon's relationship was rather uncertain right now and they still had some things they'd need to work out.

In the meantime, Natsu was dying to figure out the answer to another question entirely. He was even getting desperate enough to ask Lyon for advice since he clearly wouldn't be able to figure it out on his own and Gray wasn't offering any help.

"So, it seems like the only person he didn't have a star for was himself," he added, ignoring Lyon's look of exasperation at the constant jumping about. "I said he should pick one so he did, except he didn't tell me what the constellation was besides the name, and I want to know because it could be important. I think it started with an 's'. Sig…sig…signal? No, that's dumb. Sigmus? Wait, I think it was actually signus."

"Cygnus?" Lyon suggested dryly.

"That's what I said."

"It starts with a 'c', not an 's'."

"Whatever." Natsu narrowed his eyes at the other man. "You know what it is then? What, you're a star expert too?"

"Hardly. I'm not even entirely sure that Cygnus is a constellation, but that sounded like what you were trying to say."

"Wait, so you _don't _know what it means?"

"It means 'swan'," Lyon said impatiently. "Like how a baby swan is called a cygnet."

Natsu stared at him blankly. "I thought a baby swan was a swanling." Lyon threw him a disbelieving look, and the dragon slayer hurried to defend himself. "You know, a baby duck is a duckling, a baby swan is a swanling?"

"…You have got to be kidding me."

Natsu was not, in fact, kidding. It seemed like a perfectly sound leap of logic to him, but then again, logic had never been his strong suit. Whatever the case, he'd rather talk about what Gray's choice of star might mean rather than about his apparent stupidity.

"So, why would he pick a swan?"

Lyon shrugged. "I have no idea."

Real helpful, this guy.

"Um… He likes swans?" Natsu suggested. Lyon raised an eyebrow scornfully, and the dragon slayer tried again. "Or he's actually a closet birdwatcher along with all this secret stargazing stuff?"

"…Right." Lyon shook his head in weary exasperation. "I doubt it's going to be anything that simple. Gray might act dumb most of the time, but he's a lot smarter than he lets on. If he was looking for something with meaning then it would actually be something meaningful. Think more abstractly."

Natsu sighed. He much preferred simple things. Meaning and abstractness almost always flew right over his head.

"A swan is…white?" His face lit up. "Like ice!"

"Ice isn't white, you fool."

"A swan is white like snow?"

"…I don't even know what to say to you right now."

Natsu scowled. "Well maybe if you'd stop making fun of me and actually help…"

"I already said I don't know. It's much easier to see how stupid all your ideas are."

"Hey, at least _I _came up with ideas. Now it's your turn."

Lyon stayed quiet for a long moment, his brow wrinkled in thought. "Swans…fly?" he said uncertainly.

"Ha, and you say _my _ideas are stupid!" Natsu crowed. "Gray can't fly."

"Of course not." Lyon glowered at him in exasperation. "Not literally. But it could be…symbolic."

"Symbolic of what?"

"Um, well, flight sometimes symbolizes…freedom?"

"I dunno, seems weird." Natsu sighed. "I suck at all this symbolism and meaning and crap."

"I'd noticed that, actually."

"You aren't doing so great either."

"I want to say that you two are so far off the mark that it isn't even funny, but that would be a lie," Gray said, snickering. Natsu and Lyon both started in surprise, somehow having missed the fact that the object of their discussion had made it all the way across the kitchen to peer doubtfully at the kettle without being noticed. "It's still pretty funny."

"Gray, you're awake!" Natsu said stupidly.

Then he winced, realizing that Gray now knew he'd been sharing the whole star thing. Surprisingly, his friend seemed more amused than upset right now, but that could definitely change.

"So I am," Gray said dryly, pouring himself a mug of so-called hot chocolate. Natsu thought about warning him, but he already seemed wary of the liquid and only took a hesitant sip before scrunching his face up in disgust. "It's been a decade and you _still _haven't learned how to make hot chocolate properly?"

"I use dark chocolate," Lyon grumbled, glowering at both Gray and Natsu.

"I do too, sometimes," Gray replied, unimpressed. "But at least I can still tell that it's chocolate. This tastes like really bad coffee or something."

Natsu started snickering, until Lyon shot him an extra-venomous look. He might have still snickered some more anyway, but he was still focused on the swan thing and didn't want to be distracted despite Gray's best efforts.

"So, why a swan?"

Gray stared at him silently, face unreadable, before sighing and dumping the rest of the 'hot chocolate' down the sink. "Have you ever heard that dumb kids' story about the ugly duckling?"

"…What?" Whatever Natsu had been expecting his friend to say, it had not been that. "No."

"Really?" Gray arched an eyebrow and smirked. "Everyone knows that one."

"I was raised by a dragon," Natsu huffed, crossing his arms. "I heard way cooler stories than ones about _ducks_."

Gray snorted. "Well, it's not my job to educate you. Anyway, there are a couple things I want to do while I'm up here, in case I don't come back. Give me a few minutes to take care of them and then we can go."

Without waiting for Natsu or Lyon to say anything else, he headed for the door. Pausing, he turned back to give the dragon slayer one last look.

"Oh, and Natsu?"

"Huh?"

"That whole star thing? I'd prefer it if it stays between you and me. You caught me at a bad time, yeah? Don't make me regret telling you." His tone was casual, maybe even faintly amused, but there was just enough steel in his eyes to let Natsu know that he was serious.

"Yeah," Natsu mumbled, dropping his gaze. "Sorry."

"Well, I'll be back shortly," Gray said cheerfully, disappearing through the doorway. A moment later, they heard the front door open and shut.

The two remaining mages stared at the empty doorway for a few seconds before looking at each other again.

"So… Do you know the duck story?" Natsu asked finally.

"Did you miss what he just said?"

Natsu waved off the older mage's concern. "He doesn't want me sharing this stuff with anyone else, but he knows that I already told you so I'm sure he expects us to keep discussing it. If he was that against it, he wouldn't have given us a clue."

Lyon hesitated a little longer before sighing and giving in. "It's a story about this duckling who's, well, ugly. He doesn't look like the other ducklings so he gets teased and picked on a lot and his life pretty much sucks. But when he grows up, it turns out that he's actually a swan and the story makes a big deal about how he's now way cooler and prettier than the ducks."

Natsu waited to hear the rest of the story, but Lyon just stared at him and made no move to continue.

"Wait, that's it?" he asked in disbelief. Lyon nodded. "What a dumb story."

"Still, something about it must have meaning for Gray."

"All I got out of the story is that the swan was pretty. I don't know, maybe he can be kind of vain sometimes, but…"

"Have you ever heard the expression 'too dumb to live'?" Lyon asked, rolling his eyes.

Natsu spent a few seconds trying to figure out what that had to do with swans, before finally realizing what the older mage was talking about. "Hey!" he protested, scowling. "Why don't _you _come up with a better theory then?"

Lyon sighed and rubbed at his face wearily. "It's a transformative story. The whole point is the transformation from bad circumstances to good ones, through an internal shift. Do you remember Gray's reaction last night when I told him that he'd changed since he was a kid? My guess is that this is a representation of Gray's shift from being someone he didn't particularly like into someone he's prouder to be, or even just a reminder that he wants to continue to improve and hopes to be someone better in the future. It might embody other transformations too or be a reminder that he's finally found a place where he feels like he belongs, but I'd bet there's a definite internal element there."

Well, Natsu wouldn't have guessed that. He wouldn't admit it, but apparently Lyon was way better at all this symbolic crap. His theory was kind of sad, but maybe also kind of positive and hopeful because it pointed to a better present and future. Gray had said that the stars were reminders, and Natsu had suggested that he pick his own star to remind himself of, well, himself. If what Gray needed a reminder of was how far he had come and how far he still wanted to go… Well, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

"So, what do you think?" Natsu asked, arching an eyebrow. "You knew him as a kid. Ugly duckling or just a swanling? Cyg-thing. Whatever."

Lyon sighed, not even bothering to make a sarcastic comment. "He's far from perfect—he had problems then, and I'm sure he still has them now. But he was always a swan. I just hope that maybe he's finally starting to realize that."

Natsu hoped so too.

* * *

"I'm sorry I told Lyon about the stars," Natsu said, giving Gray a sidelong look as they sat in the station waiting for their train.

Gray just sighed and shrugged. "I should've known that if I didn't tell you what I meant, you'd go to him for help. You like sticking your nose into things. And let's be honest, you would have needed his help. I don't know or care what theories you came up with after I left, but I can almost guarantee that he was closer than you."

"Hey," Natsu protested halfheartedly. But it was true, so he let it go.

He kind of wanted to ask what Lyon had said when he'd pulled Gray aside just before they'd left, but he had the feeling that his friend would brush him off. Plus, he'd already been awfully nosy these past couple days and he didn't want to push his luck. He did hope that it had been something good though. He still wasn't entirely sure what he thought of Lyon, still found him kind of annoying and remembered what had transpired on Galuna, but he'd also seen a different side of him. And Gray might be happier if he could work things out with his one-time brother.

"That being said," Gray added, interrupting Natsu's thoughts, "I really would prefer it if this didn't leak out to anyone else. It's just… I don't know. I don't really want it being spread around."

"It's okay," Natsu said quickly. "I understand that. I can totally keep secrets."

Gray eyed him skeptically and he tried to look innocent. The ice mage just shrugged, his gaze wandering away again as he returned to studying their surroundings with that hungry yet melancholy intensity. Natsu had noticed it first when his friend had just arrived in Isvan yesterday, it had cropped up for a good portion of the time they had been here, and had been virtually nonexistent before arriving. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Which was good, since Natsu wasn't exactly a genius.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay longer?" he asked cautiously.

Gray pulled himself out of his reverie long enough to frown back over at Natsu. He stayed silent for a long moment before shaking his head.

"No, I don't want to stay. Yes, it was my home once and it will always be a special place to me, but there was enough heartache here that it hurts too. I want to be here, but I don't. There have definitely been times when I've missed it over the years, but I never came back until Lyon interfered. I might not have ever returned if he hadn't stepped in, honestly. Even when I miss it, it's really hard to convince myself to come back."

"If…if you ever wanted to come back, you could always ask me and I'd come with you. You know, if that would make it easier." Natsu flushed and shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, only if you want me to."

Gray stared at him silently for what seemed like an eternity, before clearing his throat and looking away. "Thank you."

It wasn't a real answer and Natsu knew that he would be too proud to ask for that kind of thing under normal circumstances, but this was, if nothing else, an acknowledgement. Hopefully if Gray really needed that company one day, he'd know that he could ask for it.

Not knowing what else to say, both mages stayed quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Thankfully the train arrived a few minutes later, before things got _too _uncomfortable.

"I never thought I'd say that I missed this, but this is definitely better than how I had to ride these trains on the way up here," Natsu remarked, sinking down into a seat next to Gray and mentally preparing himself for the coming torture.

"And just how did you ride the trains on the way up?"

"Well, I started off sitting on top, but I almost got scraped off onto the roof of a tunnel so I managed to find a luggage compartment to pass out in."

Gray laughed. "Oh man, I'd pay good money to see you riding around on the top of a train."

"Yeah, yeah. I–" Natsu broke off as the train lurched into motion and his stomach roiled uncomfortably. "Oh God," he groaned, "it never gets better."

Gray snickered a little bit but then left the dragon slayer to his nauseous daze, instead turning away to gaze out the window and watch the scenery of what had once been his home speed by. Natsu stayed lost in his own misery for several minutes before groggily wondering how Gray was actually doing. His friend had been acting normal enough to deflect suspicion, but it wouldn't be surprising if he was still upset. Natsu sucked at the whole comforting thing to start with and had an even harder time caring when his brain was mush and he was just trying not to puke everywhere, but he felt that maybe it was his duty as a friend to at least try.

"Hey Gray?" He paused as another wave of nausea hit him and Gray looked back over at him, smoothing his expression out as he wiped away any lingering traces of melancholy. "Are you, you know, okay?"

Gray blinked at him blankly for a moment before nodding. "Sure. If anyone's not fine, it's you. I think I can help with that actually, but I have something interesting to show you first. Look here."

He rummaged in his pocket and then held his hand up, fingers curled into a fist to hide whatever he was holding. Natsu had no idea what to expect, but unslouched a little to peer at his friend's hand uncertainly. As he uncurled himself from his huddled position, Gray's fist slammed into his solar plexus painfully and he only had the time to think 'sneaky bastard' before passing out.

When he stirred back to life sometime later, the train was still moving. His first thought was to get his friend back for pulling an Erza like that—sure, he was glad to have been passed out so that he didn't have to deal with the motion sickness, but that didn't mean that he wanted people going around punching him—but he paused and took a minute to watch Gray. The ice mage had slumped against the window, but although his eyes were closed, a couple silent tears stained his cheeks.

Natsu hesitated, but then reached out to touch his friend awkwardly on the shoulder. Gray started in surprise.

"What's up?" Natsu asked, subdued.

Gray swiped a hand across his eyes. "It's been a decade. You'd think that I would have found a way to really come to terms with things by now. I guess it's kind of pathetic that I'm still so screwed up, but it hurts anyway."

"I don't know, I think most everyone would have a hard time coming to terms with something like that," Natsu offered. "And that kind of thing leaves scars. I think it's normal that it still hurts sometimes. It might get better over time, but it doesn't go away completely."

Gray chuckled breathily, an unamused sound, and turned his face back towards the window. "It's not that it really gets _better_, exactly. People always say that it will get better or it won't hurt as much later. But you know, it's not that it hurts _less_, just that it hurts _different_. Some kinds of hurt are just easier to deal with than others. You learn to cope better, not to stop hurting."

Natsu considered that for a second. It was impossible to really think about such a statement in any real detail because his brain was still so foggy from the motion sickness, but he thought he might get the point. Igneel's disappearance had never really stopped hurting either, but the hurt had mellowed out a little over the years and Natsu had learned how to deal with it and push it aside most of the time so that it wasn't always on his mind. Maybe it wasn't that it hurt less, but that it had settled into a bone-deep ache instead of an acute agony. Not less, just different.

"I think she probably knew everything I never got to say," Gray whispered, his voice wavering slightly, "but I wish that I could have told her anyway."

"I'm sorry," Natsu said softly.

Gray looked back over and smiled a little, even though it didn't quite hide the pain. "I'm sorry too, flame brain."

Natsu opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Gray's fist collided with his stomach again and he slipped into unconsciousness once more. Gray woke him when they reached the station, and Natsu was terribly excited until his friend reminded him that they were only halfway and still needed to catch a connecting train to reach the guild. Gray seemed cheerful enough, although Natsu had his doubts, and the two friends joked around and chatted about random things that had nothing at all to do with the past while they waited out their layover.

When they got back on the train Gray didn't bother knocking Natsu out again, so the dragon slayer spent the rest of the ride in hell. He glanced over at Gray occasionally when he wasn't too far gone to care, but his friend seemed perfectly fine. Gray had always been a good actor.

It was only when they reached Magnolia that he began to falter again. It was already dark, the train ride having taken all day, but Natsu's automatic assumption was that they'd stop by the guild to say hi and let everyone know that they were back. But Gray had picked up a strange reluctance almost as soon as he had stepped off the train, and his steps slowed to almost a crawl as he stared towards the guild unenthusiastically.

"Is everything okay?" Natsu asked, eyeing him.

Gray smiled wanly. "Yeah, it's fine. It just feels odd to be back here. Like, it was hard to go to Isvan, but it's almost just as hard to come back. It feels like I just stepped out of my normal life and took a break, like everything paused to give me time to take care of something that's part of an entirely different world. And now that I'm leaving that world and coming back to normalcy, it's almost just as jarring. I don't know that that actually makes any sense."

"Uh… We could always just go home tonight and show up at the guild tomorrow?" Natsu offered uncertainly.

Gray hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah, it's okay."

"If you're sure…"

"Stars are good reminders," Gray said, sighing and tilting his head to look up at the sky, "but they're nothing like the real thing. I said that I've spent most of my life chasing after Ur's star, and that's true. But you know, I'm always following after yours too—everyone from Fairy Tail. As long as I'm chasing them, I always know that they'll guide me right back to where I need to be. And right now, I really want to chase them."

He smiled faintly at Natsu before starting forward again, walking towards the guild at a brisk, purposeful pace. "Well, come on, flame brain. It's never too late for a good brawl, and I do believe that I owe you a fight."

Natsu hesitated, waiting almost until Gray had made it all the way to the end of the street. Then he smiled and took off running, his feet thudding loudly against the pavement in the still night air as he chased after his friend, following him back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you thought the title was just some weird metaphoric thing. ...Okay, it is some weird metaphoric thing, but there are actual stars too! Although I have to admit that I'm with Natsu on this one: I don't know anything about stars. I'm pretty sure that not all constellations can be seen at the same time in the same place, but that was more research than I was willing to do. And ha ha, ugly duckling. I'm half trolling you and half totally serious. And poor Lyon can never escape that hot chocolate thing—after "Stay" it kind of became a headcanon for me XD

**Author's Note:**

> For the curious, this was the original request:
> 
> Here's the idea: Grey's being very upset lately and Natsu wants to comfront him about it, but before he can do that, Grey says he is going on a trip (not a mission) and vanishes. Natsu follows him. They reach the town where Grey used to live with Ur and there he meets with Lyon (this was post-galuna). Natsu is shell shock and evesdropped [?] on them (in here he doesn't like Lyon). They go to Ur's old shack and they talk for a bit, all the while Natsu is watching them through the window. Grey starts to cry and he eventually breaks down on Lyon's arms. Natsu watches and Grey suddenly stands up and leaves the house telling Lyon he will be back in a couple of minutes. Natsu follows and when Grey collapsed on the ground he goes to his aid. At first Grey is confuse and mad because he was being followed. They had a small brawl but eventually they calm and Grey explains he's there because it was the anniversary of Ur's death and he agreed to meet there with Lyon so they could mourn properly as sibling students. Natsu feels bad, apologizes and then they return to Lyon after having their heart to heart (the kind that only you know how to do). Lyon is surprise to find Natsu and a little annoyed, but he doesn't break into a fight with him. In the end, they return calmly to the train station after saying goodbye to Lyon and Natsu comforts Grey on the ride. Happy ending!


End file.
